My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
