so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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