People in love make me want to vomit
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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