I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
