Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
