i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
