At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
