Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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