My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
