sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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