im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
