girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
