I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I am mentally ready for anal.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
