Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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