im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
In America we eat man semen.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize