Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
