So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
