If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize