Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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