Grow some girl-balls and come out already
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
