Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
as a side note pls kill me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
