the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
