It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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