Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
