finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
