Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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