I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
