How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
