Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
