You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
50% drunk capacity currently
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
