umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
