Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
