When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
