Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize