nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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