The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
