Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
