Taylor Swift is so right about you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
