Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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