Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
