Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
