i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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