you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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