I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
