Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
