Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
