Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
