I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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