Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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