I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
