Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
