Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
