I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
