My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
