whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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