I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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