before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
