Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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