you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
