dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
