I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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