yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
