I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
