I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
