Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
