ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
