what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
