I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
