Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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