glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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