Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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