The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
